Motivation Monday: Angels in Darth Vader Suits

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“Remember that some day, the AIDS crisis will be over, and when that day has come and gone, there will be people…who hear that once there was a terrible disease, and that a brave group of people stood up and fought, and in some cases died, so others might live and be free. I’m proud to be with the people I love…and to be a part of that fight.”
-Vito Russo
On Monday nights, in 1988, I would sit in my HIV support group and listen to my friends share the lessons they were learning from living with – and dying from – AIDS.
I can recall at one particular meeting when I came in late, Benji motioned me to sit next to him and Phyllis. So I pulled up a chair, squeezed in between them and looked around the room. There were some new faces, but many old familiar ones, too. The white couch against the wall was filled with all my friends. I grabbed my notebook as Phyllis smiled and whispered, “You gotta take notes, right?”

It was always interesting sitting next to Phyllis at those meetings. She’d talk out loud and finish people’s sentences under her breath. I suppose for herself and not just for those sitting around her. She grabbed the journal out of my hand and wrote down these words:

“Now that HIV has happened to you, the goal is to learn how to live with a little more gratitude, a little more elegance!”

I wrote down many of my favorite shares from that meeting. Greg, from San Francisco said, “I feel like every cell in my body has a tear to shed.”

Curtis, who had just gotten out of the hospital, shared his experience of lying in bed, preparing to die. “It was just me and God,” he began. “That’s what did it for me. I prayed each night for Him to be with me. Just be with me. And give me peace. And take away all the pain. That’s all.”

Phyllis began to rock back and forth. “That’s all,” she repeated. “That’s all.”

Curtis continued. “It’s just life. We know that. And we all know so many people who have died. So what’s the big deal? I’ll just hang out with them for awhile. ” He paused a moment before he said, “…and, yeah I have fear. I’d lay there with all my fear and think: this is it. So this is it. And then I’d think, what is it? It’s just life.”

Once upon a time, most of my friends died of AIDS. But before they did, they would sit in those support groups and try to find the perfect words to describe their experience.

“I need to make peace with the word ‘AIDS,'” Robert shouted. He was in his angry phase; he had lost his ability to walk. “I want to find a new way to describe my disease. Instead of calling it the Acquired Immuno-deficiency Syndrome, I’m gonna call it ‘Always in Divine Safety.'”

Just then, Ross leaned forward on the white couch. Ross, whose HIV had manifested as a brain tumor, had lost all of his blonde curls from months of chemotherapy and radiation. “I have another one,” he smiled. Ross was always smiling. “I’m gonna call AIDS – ‘Angels in Darth Vader Suits.'”

Curtis and Robert and Ross have died, along with almost everyone in that room that night.
Benji and Phyllis are still alive.
So am I.

It was a time of unexalted destinies. Yet, we still searched for safety and meaning and angels.

This week, if a faithful ache should arrive, think of my friends and try to see the situation as an angel in a Darth Vader suit.

How can you live with a little more gratitude?
How can you live with a little more elegance?

Podcast: Ballad for the Broken Hearted Guys

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Each of us is at risk of having a broken heart. It takes great courage to believe in love; to believe that love is worth the cost of breathing; the price of the pulse of blood in your veins; the gathering of a million mornings of hope. It is a holy thing to love what can change. It is a courageous thing to love what can leave. This podcast, recorded in front of a live audience, is for guys like me. The song was written by Mary Chapin Carpenter.

Parents & Caring Others – Join me in New Jersey on 6/4!

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Please join me for an important event on Tuesday, June 4th. I’m giving a lecture entitled, “How to Talk to the Creature in Your Car: A Survival Guide for Parents of Teens,” where I’ll be sharing specific strategies and techniques on parenting a teenager through the arc of adolescence.

It’s a presentation that will validate the successful things that are already working in your relationship with your teen. Or, you can use it as a survival guide to communicating with the creature listening to music in your car. Mostly, I hope the evening will be a gentle reminder of what every teen wants more than anything else: the tender presence of a loving other and permission to be whomever they are becoming.

I’ve very excited about this event and want to thank Jane Clementi of The Tyler Clementi Foundation (Tyler’s mom) and North Jersey Pride for making this possible. Tyler’s family will be there and Jane will be giving the introduction.

The full flyer is below and you can register to attend on the Facebook event here.

I hope to see you there!

Teens Speak Out: May 21

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iamenough6

Name:
Alyson

Age:
23

Who Are You?

I’m gay. I’m both male and female and neither male nor female. I’m everything I’m not supposed to be. Nine times out of ten, I’m the one being bullied, the one putting everything on the line only to have it thrown back in my face.

Whose arms do you fall into?


I haven’t fallen into anyone arms yet. I’m still waiting for a knight(ess) in shining armor to come rescue me from this hell.

What is the one miracle you are waiting for?


To be able to live a day when I’m glad to be alive.

What is your weapon?


Myself. Isolation.

Whom do you miss the most?


EB…may she rest in peace after dying this past year by her own hands.
What are you scared of?


Dying. Living. Sex. Pleasure.

What is your favorite memory?


Telling on myself (to an adult) before I pulled the plug to end my life. Reaching out for help and submitting myself to going to the emergency room to stop myself from acting upon my urges.

When was the last time God spoke to you and what did He say?


She said how I’m beautiful and I deserve to live free of fear.
What words are you holding onto in your pockets?


The wish of “la libertad de nao sentir medo” (The freedom to not be afraid)

What’s the best advice you’ve ever been given?


Someone, somewhere in this world, is waiting to meet you.

What advice would you give to your parents that will help them in raising you?


Don’t ever doubt your child of his/her potential.

Is there sometimes an emptiness inside you and what does it feel like?


Yes. It feels like being locked in my dog’s cage. Or like the time I had to eat dinner after visiting Auschwitz.

Are you enough?


No. I think if I were enough I would not be so dependent on self-loathing jokes.

Topic Tuesday: Syphilis

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Syphilis
All rights reserved by ABC

Who remembers where this quote is from?

“You gave me syphilis?”

Answer: Grey’s Anatomy – Season One, Episode 9. George discovers he has syphilis, and it soon emerges that the disease is rampant among the hospital staff.

Well, just last week, the CDC (U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) announced that syphilis has returned with a vengeance to the gay community. Once almost eliminated in the United States, cases of syphilis have more than doubled among gay and bisexual men since the year 2000.

If you’re a numbers kind of person, this might interest you. In 2013, there were more than 16,000 cases of syphilis, 91% of these in men – up from 84% in 2012.

So this week’s STI topic is all about syphilis.

What Is It?

Syphilis is caused by a type of bacteria known as a spirochete, called treponema pallidum that lives in warm, moist parts of the body such as the mouth, anus and penis. If you were to look at it through a microscope, you’d see something that looks like a corkscrew or spiral. It’s extremely small and can live almost anywhere in the body.

How Is Syphilis Spread?

These spirochetes can be passed from one person to another through direct contact with a syphilis sore (infectious lesion). That contact can be genital intercourse, anal intercourse or oral intercourse. Yes, that means that you can get syphilis from oral sex. The bacteria pass through intact mucous membranes and abraded (just a fancy word for scraped) skin. The treponeme needs a small cut or abrasion in the skin to cause infection which may be one of the reasons it is common among MSM (men having sex with men), since anal intercourse is more traumatic than vaginal sex. The spirochetes are then carried by the bloodstream to every organ in the body. The infection can also be passed from a mother to her baby during pregnancy. But listen up…you cannot catch syphilis from a towel, doorknob, or toilet seat.

In its early stages, syphilis is easily treatable. However, if left untreated, it can cause serious problems — even death. So it’s important to understand as much as you can about this disease.

How Long Until Symptoms Appear?

A person who has been exposed to the spirochetes that cause syphilis may notice a chancre from 10 days to 3 months later, though the average is 3 weeks. If the syphilis is not treated, the second stage of the disease may occur anywhere from about 2 to 10 weeks after the original sore (chancre).
It’s important to keep in mind that many people never notice any symptoms of syphilis. This means it is important to let your doctor know that you are having sex, so that he or she can test you for syphilis even if you don’t have any symptoms.

So How Is It Diagnosed?

So this is where it gets interesting. Syphilis is divided into three stages, each with different signs and symptoms.

Primary Stage: Syphilis usually appears first as a red, firm, painless and sometimes wet ulcer or open genital sore, which disappears without a scar. “It can appear in the back of the throat and be missed entirely,” according to Dr. Demetre Daskalakis, an infectious disease expert at Mount Sinai Hospital in New York City. This first phase is the most infectious stage.

This chancre (pronounced: SHANG-ker) appears 3 weeks to 90 days (up to 12 weeks) after infection either on the penis, scrotum, mouth, back of the throat or anus. It’s often misdiagnosed as a herpes sore. It then scabs over and heals. Also, the glands nearest to the sore (neck or groin) may swell. Treatment of the sore with antiseptics or antibiotic creams has no effect since the treponeme has already infected the nearby lymph nodes. The sore is usually painless (as are the swollen nearby lymph glands) and feels like a small hard button just below the skin surface. It varies between barely visible to the size of a small fingernail.

The primary chancre is usually a single ulcer that is hard to miss when found on the penis but difficult when on the vulva, vagina or cervix, or in either gender when near the anus. A chancre can be found on the lips, nipples, tongue or other sites. One unlucky site is the base of the penis (called a “condom chancre”) when a sore on the vulva has come into contact with the lower part of the penis NOT covered by the condom.

The chancre will disappear on its own in 1-6 weeks (3 weeks average) but the disease doesn’t go away. In fact, if the infection hasn’t been treated, the disease will continue to get worse.

The primary sore is still present in perhaps 15% of secondary stage cases.

Secondary Stage: About 3-8 weeks after infection, the bacterium has spread throughout the body. A rash appears in most people on hands, palm and the soles of the feet. It might seem like this rash is the most important problem. But the treponeme can be found affecting all the parts of the body, from the liver to the lungs and the brain to the bones. People with secondary syphilis feel generally unwell, with a temperature, aches and pains, and loss of appetite. Half have enlarged lymph glands. Other symptoms are condylomata lata (fancy term for wart growths), lymph node enlargement, spotty baldness/hair loss, mild fever, fatigue, ulcers in the mouth and anus, and weight loss. There is an involvement of the central nervous system in 20% of cases, with nothing more than a slight headache.

Sometimes the rashes associated with syphilis can be very faint or look like rashes from other infections and, therefore, may not be noticed. Remember, sores sometimes appear on the lips, mouth, throat, vagina, and anus — but many people with secondary syphilis don’t have sores at all.
Secondary symptoms may last 2 to 6 weeks (4 weeks average) and may recur. The symptoms of this secondary stage will go away with or without treatment. But if the infection hasn’t been treated, the disease can continue to progress. Syphilis is still contagious during the secondary stage.
After some weeks, the rash and other complications disappear and the disease enters its next stage.

Early latent stage: If syphilis still hasn’t been treated, the person will have a period of the illness called latent (hidden) syphilis. This means that all the signs of the disease go away, but the disease is still very much there. Even though the disease is “hiding,” the spirochetes are still in the body. This stage can last for 2 years without signs or symptoms although infectious bacteria are still present in the tissues. Syphilis can remain latent for many years. Chancres or rashes may recur in this early latent stage.

Late latent stage or Tertiary Stage: If the disease still hasn’t been treated at this point, some develop tertiary (or late-stage) syphilis. This means the spirochetes have spread all over the body and can affect the brain, the eyes, the heart, the spinal cord, and bones. Symptoms of late syphilis can include difficulty walking, numbness, gradual blindness, and possibly even death. One third of people reach this stage, also called neuro-syphillis. It can appear up to 30 years after infection. The good news is that there is no chance of syphilis being passed on in this stage. It’s also been found that many who have reached this stage can look forward to no further trouble from their infection and may die of old age or an unrelated condition. The lesion in tertiary syphilis is known as the gumma. A gumma results from blockage of small arteries and can cause spots and lumps or nodules in skin, tongue, bones, muscles and internal organs. These later manifestation of syphilis are very uncommon in the western world today. If untreated, there can serious damage to the nervous system, heart, brain and other organs. Sometimes no clinical signs, but vascular and neurological damage may be occurring.

There is something called a dark-ground or dark-field microscope examination that looks at a little fluid from the primary sore of the secondary rash. Also, serological tests measure the presence of antibodies in the blood.

– Treponemal antibody tests, TPHA, TPPA, FTA or EIA stay positive forever even after successful treatment. These continuing positive results simply say that the person has had the infection in the past.

– Non-treponemal antibody tests, VDRL and the RPR tell us whether the syphilis is still active, depending on how strongly positive the test is. This distinguishes between a positive treponemal test owing to older treated infection or a new infection.

How Is It Treated?

If you think you may have syphilis or if you have had sexual contact with someone who might have syphilis, see your doctor or gynecologist right away. It can sometimes be difficult to spot chancres. So it’s important to get checked on a regular basis, especially if you have had unprotected sex and/or more than one sex partner.

Early stages of syphilis are easily cured with antibiotics. The most common treatment is penicillin or doxycycline once a week for three weeks in alternate buttocks. Other antibiotics, including tetracyclines and macrolides are used when there is penicillin allergy. Here’s some good news: these antibiotics respond promptly. Also, the treponeme shows no signs of developing resistance to penicillin or any other antibiotics.

Someone who has been infected for a while will need treatment for a longer period of time. Unfortunately, damage to the body from the late stage of syphilis cannot be treated. However, even in the late stage, it is important to get treatment. This can prevent further damage to the body. Anyone with whom you’ve had unprotected sex also should be checked for syphilis immediately.
Being treated for syphilis does not make you immune. You CAN catch it more than once.

How Is It Prevented?

The best way to prevent any STD is to not have sex. However, for people who decide to have sex, it’s important to use protection. Latex condoms are effective against most STDs; however, if there are any sores or rashes, avoid sex until the person has seen a doctor for treatment.

Fun Facts!

If you’ve read this far, here’s some fun facts on the origins of syphilis.

Where did syphilis come from?
In David Barlow’s book, Sexually Transmitted Infections (The Facts), he explains that there are a few views as to the origins of syphilis in Europe. Some blame Columbus (actually probably his crew) for bringing it to Barcelona from North America in 1493. The siege of Naples took place the following year when some infected Spaniards joined France. By the spring of 1495 a dreadful plague had broken out. The English called it the French disease. The French called it the Italian disease; the indecisive Italians called it the French and Spanish disease, while the Spanish called it the disease of Hispaniola. Neopolitan soldiers labeled it Mal Franzoso, the French disease, in 1495. Their French opponents called it “the Neapolitan disease.” The Russians dubbed it “the Polish sickness.” The Poles attributed it to Germany. The Japanese named the sores “Chinese ulcers.” And it was known for centuries as “the great” (as opposed to the “small”) pox.

Medieval cities banished syphilitics outside their gates or “cured” them with mercury ointments that made their bodies shake and teeth fall out before they died. The pre-Columbians school argues that it was around in Europe in pre-Christian day. There are many references in the Old Testament to conditions with signs and symptoms that could be syphilis. One translation, from Psalms, threatens ‘…the Lord shall smite you in the knees and in the legs with a sore botch that cannot be healed from sole of thy foot to the top of thy head.’

Pope Julius II, Henry VIII, Ivan the Terrible, George Washington and Nietzsche were all syphilitics.

Key Points to Remember
  • You CAN get syphilis from oral sex.
  • This first phase is the most infectious stage characterized by a red, firm, painless and sometimes wet ulcer or open sore.
  • The second phase occurs 3-8 weeks after infection and is characterized by a flu-like condition. This is also an infectious time.
  • If you want to get a blood test for syphilis, ask your doctor for an RPR. That’s the code, so you can keep the results more hidden.
  • African Americans are 34 times more likely to have syphilis than whites.
  • Being treated for syphilis does not make you immune. You CAN catch it more than once.
References

DISCLAIMER: The information contained in this post is intended to inform readers and is not intended to replace specific advice from a health care professional.

Motivation Monday: The Secret to a Perfect Bikini Body

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Bikini
Today’s Monday Motivation comes from my wise and wonderful friend, Jodi Rubin. She’s an expert on body image issues and self- empowerment. Take a moment to read her post. Her blog is an excellent resource on this and other related topics.

the secret to a perfect bikini body

The weather is getting warmer! Talk and anxieties of the perfect “bikini body” are in the air!
Do this exercise, spot train this area, don’t exercise this area, don’t eat this food, definitely eat this food, only eat these foods, blah, blah, blah.
I have a secret – I know how to get the perfect bikini body! Are you ready?

Thoughtful Thursday: See Me in Boca Raton

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Boca

I don’t get to do this very often, but this weekend I’m teaching in Boca Raton and it’s open to everyone. If you’re in the area and can make it, I’d love to see you there.

I’ll be speaking during Shabbat dinner on Friday night and breakfast on Sunday, which the temple is hosting. These are going to be great talks whether you are a teen or a parent.

I’ve set up an event on Facebook where you can find all the details and register – https://www.facebook.com/events/769239723120693/

Hope to see you this weekend!

Teens Speak Out: May 14

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enough5
Name:
hayley
Age:
14
Who Are You?
It’s difficult to describe myself, but in best words possible, I am an outgoing, random, funny and beautiful person inside and out, i know how to make others feel better and I don’t let anyone else make me feel inferior. I listen to my heart and mind and do what I think is right. I love to sing and act and boys hurt me a lot.
Whose arms do you fall into?
Mainly I fall into my dad’s arms, not about everything but a lot of things, mainly when I’m sad. Music for me is a coping method, friends also help me, but some things, like Scott said, are left in your closet or your front pockets.
What is the one miracle you are waiting for?
I am waiting for love, to be loved back by someone. For someone to make me feel good about myself to tell me I am beautiful.
What is your weapon?
Masturbation.
Who do you miss most?
Robert.
What are you scared of?
Not being accepted.
What is your favorite memory?
When I was little, playing, with no worries about life or any problems or fears.
When was the last time God spoke to you and what did He say?
My first time masturbating letting me know its okay.
What words are you holding onto in your pockets?
Fear, acceptance, masturbation.
What’s the best advice you’ve ever been given?
Stay strong and true to yourself. Never change, Don’t let others let u feel inferior.
What advice would you give to your parents that will help them in raising you?
Don’t ask. Just love.
Is there sometimes an emptiness inside you and what does it feel like?
Yes like a hole in me.
Are you enough?
Yes, I am.

Topic Tuesday: Gonorrhea

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gonorrhea
This week’s STI topic is PACKED with many fun tidbits of trivia, so if you have the stamina to read the entire post, I promise to make it worth your time. You may just stumble upon some great stuff that I’ve thrown in. Here goes…
Gonorrhea is hard to spell! Maybe that’s why there are so many slang words for it. It’s also called the ‘clap’, ‘a red hot poker in the pipe,’ ‘pissing broken glass or like razor blades.’ Gonorrhea is caused by a bacteria that lives on warm, moist parts of the body such as the anus, vagina, penis, mouth, throat and urethra.
But first, here’s some interesting info for the next time you play ‘Trivial Pursuit: The STD Version”
The Old Testament, Leviticus, Chapter 15, devotes several verses to what is almost certainly gonorrhea!
“When any man has a running issue out of his flesh; because of his issue he is unclean…then he shall number to himself seven days for his cleansing and wash his clothes and bathe his flesh in running water and shall be clean.”
And here is a suggestion that the myth of the catching something from a toilet seat happened in Biblical times, from the same chapter!
“He that sitteth on anything whereon he sat that hath the issue shall wash his clothes, and bathe himself in water.”
So gonorrhea seems to have been around a long time! In fact, it was recognized by sages and historians such as Hippocrates, Plato and Aristotle for many centuries before Galen named it gonorrhea in 1526 from the Greek = seed and flow.  (Back in those days, mucous discharge was mistaken for semen.) 353 years later, in 1879, scientist Albert Neisser obtained experimental evidence about the pathogen for gonorrhea so the full name is Neisseria Gonnorrhoeae.
It kind of rhymes!
What Is It?
Gonorrhea (pronounced: gah-nuh-REE-uh) is a sexually transmitted disease (STD) caused by bacteria called Neisseria gonorrhoeae. Easy to see using a microscope’s high magnification, the gonococci are pink, kidney-shaped bacteria inside white cells, arranged in pairs that can be passed from one person to another through vaginal, oral or anal sex, even when the person who is infected has no symptoms.
How Is It Transmitted?
The bacteria can be spread by the exchange of sexual fluids (semen and vaginal secretions) through vaginal, anal (most common) and oral intercourse. Mouth-to-mouth transmission between adults is theoretically possible but it’s unlikely. It has sometimes been found in the throats of women or gay men who perform fellatio (oral sex), but it is unusual in men who have oral sex with infected female partner, cunnilingus. Doctors have never come across a case of direct mouth-to-mouth transmission.
No one really knows how infectious it is. A man with gonorrhea might have a 95% chance of passing it on from one episode of vaginal sex.  If the woman has gonorrhea, the risk of her passing it on may be lower.
The usual sites for infection are the urethra, throat and rectum in men, and cervix, urethra, rectum and throat in women. Rectal gonorrhea in men is mostly the result of bottoming, (being the receiving partner) although an infection can be passed by vibrators or through digital insertion (fingers). In 40% of women with gonorrhea, the infection is found in the rectum, not necessarily as a result of rectal intercourse. Gravity can allow the secretions to come into contact with anal tissue during intercourse.
You cannot catch gonorrhea from a towel, a doorknob, or a toilet seat.
But if you really want to stump someone with information about catching it from a toilet seat, read this:
Gonoccocus rapidly dies away from the warmth and moisture of a human being. So the only way to catch it from a toilet seat would be for a man’s penis to leave a little discharge on the seat while sitting, and a second man’s penis coming into contact with that discharge. That’s highly improbable and no single case has ever been recorded this way. The gonococcus cannot infect ordinary skin surfaces; it needs mucous membrane or internal tissue. It is therefore unlikely that a woman could either infect a toilet seat or bring an infect-able part of her anatomy into contact with one.
That settles that!
How Does a Girl Know She Has It?
A female who has gonorrhea may have no symptoms at all or her symptoms may be so mild that she doesn’t notice them until they become more severe. In some cases, females will feel a burning sensation when they urinate, or they will have a yellow-green vaginal discharge. There also may be vaginal bleeding between menstrual periods. Some experience frequent urination and abdominal pain, as well. Remember: 50% of women show no signs.
If the infection becomes more widespread and moves into the uterus or fallopian tubes, it may result in an infection called pelvic inflammatory disease (PID), which can cause abdominal pain, fever and pain during sexual intercourse, as well as the symptoms above.
How Does a Guy Know He Has It?
Guys who have gonorrhea are much more likely to notice symptoms, although a guy can have gonorrhea and not know it. Guys often feel a burning sensation when they urinate, and yellowish-white or greenish discharge may ooze out of the urethra (at the tip of the penis).  A guy may feel like he wants to urinate but can’t or only can a little.  Discharge in acute gonorrhea starts as a slight bit of mucus, developing into full-blown pus after a day or two – off-white and staining the underwear.
Here’s more trivia for you: clinic workers recognize the “tissue paper” sign – when a man attends with a piece of toilet paper on the inside of his underwear, the diagnosis is gonorrhea until proven otherwise.
Dysuria (which is a fancy word for “painful burning during urination”) is a classic symptom of gonorrhea but we rarely see patients complaining of the really severe discomfort mentioned in the old textbooks.  50% do not mention any discomfort at all.
How Long Until There Are Symptoms?
The incubation period, the time between infection and the development of symptoms, has progressively lengthened since the 1930s. In that pre-war era, an infected person noticed something wrong within 2 or 3 days. By the 1990s, the average time had increased to a few more days.
Symptoms usually appear 2 to 7 days after a person has been exposed to gonorrhea, and in females they may appear even later. In some cases, they can appear up to 14 days after the initial infection. No one knows how soon you are infectious, but there have been anecdotes of transmission within an hour or two of catching gonorrhea.  It is best to wait at least three days and some say a week, for detection.
Remember, many people experience no symptoms, especially with gonorrhea of the throat. However, a sore throat can be a symptom of the infection there.
Infection of the throat is not associated with any particular symptoms, although it seems that men or women who practice oral sex are more prone to sore throats than others.
Gonorrhea of the rectum tends to produce no symptoms in more than 80% of men or women infected there. Some notice pus on their feces and others may complain of a little dampness or itching around the anus, but most are unaware of their infection.
How Is It Detected?
Gonorrhea can be very dangerous if it is left untreated, even in someone who has mild or no symptoms. In females, spread of infection inwards to the uterus can give rise to endometritis, followed by involvement of the Fallopian tubes, salpingitis, and into the pelvis to cause pelvic peritonitis. Chlamydial and gonococcal salpingitis share the same signs and symptoms; both infections may be found together in the same patient and both may lead to ectopic pregnancy, scarring or infertility. Gonorrhea infection during pregnancy can cause problems for the newborn baby, including meningitis (an inflammation of the membranes around the brain and spinal cord) and an eye infection that can result in blindness if it is not treated.
And, if you’ve read this far, here’s some more trivia for you:
A woman’s ovaries are as sensitive as a man’s testicles and are normally protected within the bony pelvis; but there are certain occasions during sex when the erect penis will bang the ovary. This is known as ‘anvil syndrome’ after the metal block on which a blacksmith fashions a horseshoe.
In guys, gonorrhea can spread to the epididymis (the structure attached to the testicle that helps transport sperm), causing pain and swelling in the testicular area, known as epididymo-orchitis.  This can create scar tissue that might make a guy infertile.  Guys are less likely to develop blood-borne complications but may develop infection of the various glands in the genital area, including the Littre’s glands inside the urethra and Cowper’s, Tyson’s and the prostate gland.
In both males and females, spread of infection internally can give rise to the Fitz-Hugh-Curtis syndrome, a condition in which the lining outside the liver becomes inflamed, a ‘peri-hepatitis.’  Rarely, gonorrhea spreads via the bloodstream to elsewhere in the body, usually the skin and the joints. It can affect other organs and parts of the body including the throat, eyes, heart, brain, although this is less common.
What Can Happen?
At the beginning of the 20th century, gonorrhea could be seen using the microscope and a diagnosis made in this way was very likely to be correct. It was possible to grow (culture) the gonococcus, the bacterium, in a laboratory. But this sort of “horticulture” is time-consuming. It takes a good 48 hours for gonococcus to grow and it is expensive in labor and equipment. Now it’s a NAAT – nucleic acid amplification test (more trivia!!) which detects part of the bacterium rather than the whole organism. The tests tend to be highly sensitive; if the infection is there, they will find it.
If you think you may have gonorrhea or if you have had a partner who may have gonorrhea, you need to see your doctor or gynecologist. He or she will do an exam which may include checking a urine sample, or for a female, swabbing the vagina or cervix for discharge, which will then be analyzed. Talk to your doctor about which test is best for you. The doctor may also test for other STDs, such as syphilis or chlamydia. Let the doctor know the best way to reach you confidentially with any test results.
In more understandable terms, a diagnosis can be performed in days simply on a sample of urine, if it’s a urethral infection. A doctor will need to take a culture from the back of throat, if it’s an oral infection and from the anus, if it’s an anal infection – whether or not there are symptoms.  Blood tests are discounted; none are reliable.
How Is It Treated?
If you are diagnosed with gonorrhea, your doctor will prescribe antibiotics to treat the infection. Anyone with whom you’ve had sex should also be tested and treated for gonorrhea immediately. This includes any sexual partners in the last 2 months, or your last sexual partner if it has been more than 2 months since your last sexual experience.
If a sexual partner has gonorrhea, quick treatment will reduce the risk of complications for that person and will lower your chances of being re-infected if you have sex with that partner again. (You can become infected with gonorrhea again even after you have been treated because having gonorrhea does not make you immune to it.)
It’s better to prevent gonorrhea than to treat it, and the only way to completely prevent the infection is to abstain from all types of sexual intercourse. If you do have sex, use a latex condom every time. This is the only birth control method that will help prevent gonorrhea.
Key Points to Remember
  1. You cannot catch gonorrhea from a toilet seat.
  2. One in ten men and half of women with gonorrhea have NO symptoms.
  3. Although most men have a discharge, only 50% have pain during urination.
  4. Gonorrhea and chlamydia are like 1st cousins: if you test positive for one, you will most likely be treated for the other, as well.
Additional Resources

DISCLAIMER: The information contained in this post is intended to inform readers and is not intended to replace specific advice from a health care professional.